i sooo CRUSH this guy - Milo Ventimiglia

he's Jess from Gilmore Girls and yes, i like him better than dean except for his attitude.

anyway, got a new blog, AGAIN, its at blogger so link me ok? and erase the freakin diaryland who has been down for weeks already.

since this song makes my head go nod, i'm posting it's lyrics... god, this sound makes me uptuned.. hehe

Artist : Red Hot Chili Peppers                                                                  Song : Can't Stop

Can't stop addicted to the shin dig
Cop top he says I'm gonna win big
Choose not a life of imitation
Distant cousin to the reservation
Defunkt the pistol that you pay for
This punk the feeling that you stay for
In time I want to be your best friend
Eastside love is living on the westend
Knock out but boy you better come to
Don't die you know the truth is some do
Go write your message on the pavement
Burnin' so bright I wonder what the wave meant
White heat is screaming in the jungle
Complete the motion if you stumble
Go ask the dust for any answers
Come back strong with 50 belly dancers

[Chorus:]
The world I love
The tears I drop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you
The world I love
The trains I hop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Come and tell me when it's time to

Sweetheart is bleeding in the snowcone
So smart she's leading me to ozone
Music the great communicator
Use two sticks to make it in the nature
I'll get you into penetration
The gender of a generation
The birth of every other nation
Worth your weight the gold of meditation
This chapter's going to be a close one
Smoke rings I know your going to blow one
All on a spaceship persevering
Use my hands for everything but steering
Can't stop the spirits when they need you
Mop tops are happy when they feed you
J. Butterfly is in the treetop
Birds that blow the meaning into bebop

[Repeat Chorus]

Wait a minute I'm passing out
Win or lose just like you
Far more shocking
Than anything i ever knew
How about you
10 more reasons
Why i need somebody new just like you
Far more shocking than anything I ever knew
Right on cue

Can't stop addicted to the shin dig
Cop top he says I'm gonna win big
Choose not a life of imitation
Distant cousin to the reservation
Defunkt the pistol that you pay for
This punk the feeling that you stay for
In time I want to be your best friend
Eastside love is living on the westend
Knock out but boy you better come to
Don't die you know the truth is some do
Go write your message on the pavement
Burnin' so bright I wonder what the wave meant

Kick start the golden generator
Sweet talk but don't intimidate her
Can't stop the gods from engineering
Feel no need for any interfering
Your image in the dictionary
This life is more than ordinary
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these
Come from space
To teach you of the pliedes
Can't stop the spirits when they need you
This life is more than just a read thru

i feel bad but still hoping this would change. finding out that egie, ces and da won't be coming to timmie's debut makes me already think of my future in there - me being alone and bored. i dunno but i just don't feel comfy and secure enough when i know i would be going alone. i know, there are other h2's in there but it still feels different when ur with people u really go with. i am still thinking positively that jen would go. i am of no contact with her since she changed her with a "not-to-be-contacted" model since it only works in Japan.

how i wished i have not compromised. how i wish i am free to decide. how i wish i would not hurt other people of my decision. its ironic that events which my parents actually allow me to go into are the ones which i am doubtful to go into or i know will not favor me - meaning my happiness.

i don't wanna sound like timmie's debut will be something bad but seeing myself alone (ok, not entirely since if ever this happens- me being a loner- i still have blockmates to budge into) or kinda in way way or the other, just makes me wanna avoid it to have a bad memory.

i already experienced being totally left out - most of the time in family occasions to which they get around these relative of ours which i basically don't know of  - and i just always end up blaming myself for being me - quiet, unspoken and totally ashamed to strangers.

how i may want to change me, it just never happens. all the while i thought i already did just for me to realize it never did. it's really hard for me to just perk up specially to strangers. first, i am not that and second i dont want to be someone i hate of. to make it just open, i actually hate people who make 'papansin'. yes, HATE. it's good to be friendly just don't overdo it in such a way i cannot explain. i hate craving for attention.

i have ni idea why i feel being friendly to others makes me feel that i am already papansin. ewan ko ba and weirdo ko. and maybe one reason i dont wanna change is because people also change when i do. i would feel good for a moment and reverse after. weird but that's how it actually do - for me.

isn't this cute?!

even if i am not familiar with orisinal - which i am now - i loved this when i first saw it.

ok, im trying to fix this page again since diaryland is freakin down.

freak. f*ck their system. anyway, i got myself a blogger but still figuring out what layout would i place on it.

uhm.. leave a message on my guestbook ayt? since i can't put in a shoutout box in here... leave something there.. or else.. ur dead.

visit my new blog its at http://iamjoanni.diaryland.com

i will still be updating this, but its more likely that i will be using that more.